Have you finally orgasmed yet?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
