I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
