Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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