I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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