North Korea, Best Korea!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Enjoy the penises
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
