ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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