so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
