please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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