just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
