There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
