physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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