i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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