It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
