Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
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That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
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Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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