I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
A bitchslap is in order.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
