it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
