If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i permit you to call me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
