Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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