They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He passed out mid-signature
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
it glows. i had to have it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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