An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
