1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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