Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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