so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
