porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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