Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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