so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
