The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My ATM looks so different sober.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
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Do I have a choice?
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I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
