Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
