I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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