woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
