I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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