Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
