you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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