I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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