and i looked up. we had an audience...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I touched a dick in church today
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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