That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
