i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
