Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
