he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
