Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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