Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
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Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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