would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
