Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
