apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize