She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
