You can't special order awesome
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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