My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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