Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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