Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
