why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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