pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
