You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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