; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
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Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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