And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
