question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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