how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
