Whod you bang
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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