I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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