I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
